


in which things are resolved after a trip to the dentist

by babywarg (morphaileffect)



Series: DrPepperony Prompts and Fics [13]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack, F/M, Humor, M/M, Mind/Mood Altering Substances, Other, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 03:31:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21009023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morphaileffect/pseuds/babywarg
Summary: A trip to the dentist leaves Pepper high on anaesthetics. Her boyfriends take her home, and are treated to a loopy lecture.





	in which things are resolved after a trip to the dentist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheLadyStrange](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyStrange/gifts).

> From a prompt by mistressstrange on Tumblr: "I had to get fillings yesterday so... Drpepperony Prompt: Tony and Stephen taking care of a drugged Pepper."
> 
> So, a confession: I’ve never had major oral surgeries done so I’ve never really been super drugged at the dentist XD So I’m using other, uh, inebriations as reference.

“Are you sure she’ll be okay?” Tony asked from behind Stephen. “It looks like she’s just a _smidge_ too blitzed.”

“She got just enough anaesthesia,” Stephen replied half-heartedly. “The dentist knows best, of course.”

He was busy levitating a quietly giggling Pepper. He had to concentrate so as not to hurt her as he gently laid her down onto her own bed.

\- and if Tony didn’t stop speaking soon, he was going to have to levitate Tony and drop him headfirst into something less soft and cushiony.

“Really?” Tony dryly remarked. “You’re admitting someone else knows better than you? That’s a first.”

Stephen sighed. “You know I didn’t get my doctorate in oral health, right? Please say you know that.”

_“Pbbth.”_

The sudden sound from Pepper made Stephen drop her just a _little_ too soon before her back hit the mattress. She bounced upward lightly, but didn’t seem to mind.

She was so…_happy_.

“Stephen checking out teeth,” she was chuckling. “That’s funny.”

“Not that funny,” Stephen revealed. “I’ll have you know I was considering taking up dental surgery. It was profitable and in high demand.”

“Should’ve minored in it or something,” Tony grumbled. “Make you more useful at times like this.”

Pepper _pbbth_-ed again. “Oh can it, Tony, you don’t know jack about taking care of people, either.”

“Are you _sure_ she’s not overdosed?” Tony whispered irritably to Stephen.

“Why?” Stephen irritably whispered back. “Because she has no filter with you? What’s the matter, not used to it?”

“So…Imma say…Imma say one thing…”

She motioned for the two men to approach her bed. Each took a side to sit on.

Pepper reached up to grab them gently by the necks and pull their heads down closer to her face.

“You two are so uptight around each other,” she said with utter seriousness, her eyes having trouble focusing. “You know, whadda you two even _do_ when you get together. Like…like, do you even _kiss_?”

The three of them were all within kissing distance. Tony spared a moment to ask himself why it wasn’t happening.

And Pepper just kept talking. “Yeah I mean the snark is foreplay, everyone knows….but I dunno, does it, does it go any _further_? You…you guys just…_never really loosen up_, if I’m not around.“ She let them go and threw her head back, wailing, “And it’s exhaaaauusting. It’s exhausting! Getting you two to lighten up. Being the middle person. The…the lube.”

“We’re very sorry, Pep,” Stephen said as he sat up straight, amusement on the edge of his voice. “We didn’t mean to make you the…lube.”

“You know…you know what you guys ought to do?” She held up a finger. “Bang more. Yeah. You oughta. You _gotta_. Save the world. Bang more.”

The chuckles hit Pepper again. Stephen cleared his throat. Tony looked up at him.

Was the jerk actually _blushing?_

Pepper’s interrupted her own laughter with a gasp. “Know what? We should all live in one place! So you guys can shmksd;kslef more.”

“Huh?” Tony blinked.

_“I said so you can _suck each other’s dick more_, dumbass.”_

Stephen coughed. Stood from the bed. Tony presumed it was so that no one could see him blush even harder.

Pepper was starting to blurt out nonsense in the middle of her giggling fit. Presently all Tony could understand was her lewd gestures, like her sliding a forefinger in and out of a hole she made with her other hand.

Pepper being preoccupied with her own in-jokes told Tony that it was safe to leave her. She wasn’t going to hurt herself (although she might pop a rib laughing so hard). He called Stephen’s attention, and gestured for his wizard boyfriend to join him outside their girlfriend’s room.

Once outside, Tony saw that Stephen had already composed himself. Which was a shame. He would’ve wanted to hold this conversation with a bit of red still on Stephen’s pretty face.

“I’ll tell you, though, she’s got a point,” he began. “If we all lived in one house, we can spend all our off time together. We just go to our separate places of work. What do you say?”

_That wouldn’t work,_ Stephen started to say. But then he asked himself - _wouldn’t it?_

Sure, being a Sanctum Master was a 24/7 job. But no one ever said it had to be a _live-in_ job. It was just implied, and maybe the work actually required it, but only in cases of potentially world-ending events. And he foresaw no such events occurring in the near future.

He could portal back to the Sanctum as soon as he was needed. There was no call to stick to tradition.

Besides, Stephen was willing to admit: he was _way_ too uptight around them. His lovers still found ways to catch him off guard and make him blush like a child.

More time around the two, becoming more attuned to how they made him feel, ought to fix that.

“Saves on rent,” Tony was still arguing. “Plus, it’s obviously been bothering Pep that we aren’t that comfy with each other yet. In the end, it’s only practical, isn’t it?”

That drew a small chuckle from Stephen.

“What?” Tony blinked again, a bit thrown off.

“Nothing.” Stephen threw a glance into the room they had just left. “It’s just - even when high off her mind, Pep’s still the most practical one of us.”

Tony had to laugh at that, himself. It was funny, because it was true.

Stephen leaned in for a quick kiss, and a loud whoop came from inside the bedroom. Which both kisser and kissee chose to ignore.

“Let’s put a pin on the idea,” Stephen proposed, smiling. “It’s something for the three of us to talk about…once all our heads are on right.”


End file.
